First Dispatch. How Utterly Dreadful. Voice.

[trinkett]

[Anyone who meets Effie in this post will meet her in full Capitol fashion and makeup. She landed in the shop, you see. A stiff turquoise-blue structured gown, fortunately, landed beside her.

And the wig -- thank the Senate! There were plenty of wigs and there was HER wig, tight and blond and curled and fabulous -- and the new violet wings sprouting from her shoulders were quite irregular but one never drew attention to one's irregularities. If anyone asked, they were Fashion. With any luck everyone who was anyone in the Capitol would be wearing similar ones, soon.

The makeup took a bit longer. Effie finally settled on green because green is one of her Power Colors and it IS almost spring, after all. She drew her lips in a pursed bow to reflect her dissatisfaction with everything.

It had only taken a quick readthrough of the Guide for Effie to grasp somewhat what was going on. It wasn't terribly shocking, but it was highly disappointing. She'd wanted to be in the Capitol for Katniss and Peeta, not transferred to a new post just at the height of a possible professional and personal triumph. Her charges were brilliant! Cinna had shown their fire to everyone. The sensation had been rampant and her promotion near-assured. Effie Trinket's star had been rising in the Capitol, the heart of Panem and civilization.

And then Someone had Bumped her. It was the only explanation for all of this business of waking up in a clothing store in what was obviously a cheap, outlying serfdom of Panem. A lesser woman would have called that Bumping Someone a dirty word, but Effie had dignity and would find other ways to trample that usurper into dust once she got back on her feet and back to the Capitol.]

Attention, Attention:

[Her usual rather chirpy voice is a bit tempered by the fact that she has only recently awakened in a clothing shop in a strange town.]

Would any available Peacekeepers in District Luceti please report to the Clothing Emporium? I repeat: any available Peacekeepers. The Diplomatic Escort for the Tributes requires a full compliment of Security. [Yes: she was still clinging to what she assumed was her now-stripped title and position.]



Thank you.

[[[[IMPORTANT NOTE: While Effie WILL be in full Capitol couture clothing and makeup for this post, some of my icons are simply those of her PB, Elizabeth Banks. I will probably try to MOSTLY use the icons from the Hunger Games movie but just assume she's all made up and dressed to the very weird nines even if you get a plain Elizabeth Banks icon! THANKS.]]]]]

Comments

[originaljackass]

Jack was deceitful about a lot of things. But he fortunately was really just as muscular and attractive as he looked. All natural. A perk of being a Fable.

"I've seen wilder. But you're not wrong. It's a dump." As they stepped out into the plaza, he considered locations. South, perhaps, would be best. Show off the rec center, the battle dome, and the barracks. Then it would be back to the shops and then to the bar.

[trinkett]

"My district is much worse," she confided, sliding her fingers further up his arm. Ooh. Nice.

"Coal-mining is its primary industry."

[originaljackass]

He realizes now that this was more than a simple touch of the arm. Oh no, she was taking a nice long admiring exploration of his upper arm. He carefully flexed in a way that would give her something more to enjoy, but without being obvious.

"Sounds like the pits. No pun intended. But a classy lady like yourself, you don't ever have to go down into them, do you?"

[inyourfavor]

"Oh, Heavens no! I spend most of my time in the Capitol! I only travel to Twelve for the Reapings. They're entertaining affairs, you know. The entire country becomes gripped by the drama of it all!"

[originaljackass]

"Can't say I've had the pleasure of seeing one. Enlighten me."

[trinkett]

"The whole empire watches eagerly whilst we select the contenders for each Hunger Games. Tributes, they are called! This year we have two especially interesting ones."

Walking and holding his arm has made Effie chatty.

"Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark. I expect great things from them in the Arena."

[originaljackass]

Arena. Empire. Tributes. Well, that added all up pretty easily.

"Oh. Fight to the death kinda thing, right?"

[trinkett]

"We prefer to think of it as a celebration of youth."

[originaljackass]

"Youth is wasted on the young, so let's put them in a ring and let them kill one another? Clever."

[trinkett]

"Hmph. We don't see it like that!" Even though that was pretty much right. That and it was an excellent form of social, political, and cultural control, all rolled into one.

"It's about history and tradition and the strength and persistence of the young."

[originaljackass]

"And damn good television. Just the line that reality TV has been craving, but legally unable to cross."

[inyourfavor]

"I'm sorry -- 'reality' TV?"

[originaljackass]

"Television. It's pictures in a box. People far away can watch it?" He sighed. Homeland girls were so much more difficult to work with than mundy girls. "It's magic."

[inyourfavor]

"I know what TELEVISION is." It was the primary conduit of Panem's culture. "I've appeared on television many times myself. I was just confused about your use of the term reality."

[originaljackass]

He stared at her. "Oh. Shit, you must be from the 80s. Right, okay, so reality TV? It's like regular TV, but without writers. Or, pretending it doesn't have writers. You get a bunch of attractive people, come up with a gimmick, like being stuck on an island, and watch them all be assholes to one another to outdo one another and win a prize."

[trinkett]

Or from far, far into the future.

"OH. Yes! Then it is QUITE like your reality television!" Insomuch as it is the fakest reality ever. "We quite enjoy it. Though, sadly, not ALL of the Tributes are attractive."

A sigh.

"We must do our best with what we get. Though some of our makeup artists and fashion designers can only be described as brilliant."

[originaljackass]

"Well, it's kids. Nobody wants sex appeal with kids. Then everyone just feels weird about it."

[trinkett]

"It isn't the sex that everyone must find appealing. It's the allure -- the sympathy."

Sympathy -- and the word Effie truly SHOULD have used, humanity -- were so lacking in Panem's society that manufactured sympathy had been drummed up through the Games to take its place. Virtue had been covered with glitter, packaged, and sold to sponsors willing to fork up enough dough to cover the most sympathetic participants.

[originaljackass]

"Ah. Your producers play the emotional angle. Guess it's fitting. I mean, who isn't going to feel sorry for a bunch of kids murdering each other?"

Hell, Jack even felt sorry for them and he generally didn't sympathize with much of anyone.

[trinkett]

"There's a whole range of emotions and feelings available to the public," she went on. "Pity. Relief. Fear. Celebration. Grief. Patriotism. Amazement. Suspense. And the Gamemakers are masters when it comes to delivering more of each than any viewer could ever hope for. Artists."

[originaljackass]

Right. It sounded great. Really. In a horrible fashion. Actually, it reminded him a bit of how he died, only that one didn't end up with survivors.

"Ya know, I've been in the entertainment biz. A big Hollywood mogul, had my own studio. Filmed my own trilogy of movies. Blockbusters, all of them. Highest grossing movies of all time."

[trinkett]

Her grip on his arm tightened. Movie producers were Big Game in Panem. "Ooooh! Lovely!"

[originaljackass]

Finally, someone impressed! About damn time. He straightened up a bit more, emboldened. "They were about my life story too. My heroic deeds. I used to kill giants, you know. Professionally."

[inyourfavor]

Jack sounded to Effie as though he might have a past similar to Haymitch's. Except where Haymitch had wasted himself on alcoholic beverages, Jack had prospered. Improved the world with his exploits!

"REAL giants?! We don't have beings like that in Panem!"

Think of the ratings that something like that would bring in!

[originaljackass]

"Enormous giants, Effie. The sort that could eat people like us in one bite. A cute babe like you would be pinky-sized to some of the giants I killed."

Most of the giants he killed weren't so large. They were all smaller than that first giant from the beanstalk. Uglier and stupider too.

"The battles are the things of legend."