Fifth Dispatch. Practice Makes Perfect, And Perfect is Me. Action.

[trinkett]

[It's a hot afternoon, and Effie Trinket has sneaked into the Barracks -- first checking to make sure no one else is in there.

No one is.

It's far too hot and dusty and anyone in her right mind would choose the techy comforts of the Battle Dome over this place.

This is a good thing. Effie doesn't WANT to meet anyone today. For one thing, she feels very awkwardly dressed: running shorts and a bright yellow T-shirt (yellow is a Power Color); white athletic socks with that 1970s-era striping at the top; sneakers. No heels, no shoulder pads, no wig, no makeup.

She is here -- VERY GRUDGINGLY, MIND -- to train for warfare. Her last announcement to the village brought on plenty of warnings, and even a subtle death threat or two, and at least a few people giving well-meaning advice. She can hardly believe any of the doubters who'd said the Malnosso would sacrifice her in a battle, but better safe than sorry. One never knows when the higher-ups might make a clerical error or shifting error and accidentally send a valued subject into dire straits.

The second reason she doesn't particularly want to meet anyone is because she knows none of the Luceti peons like her very much. That's fine with Effie. Eventually the Malnosso will take her into the inner workings of the organization and place her right where she belongs. Until then? Well. She can and has been staying indoors a great deal, being a bored journal stalker.

Unfortunately, this lonesome round in the Barracks confirms that Ms. Trinket is not cut out for warfare at all. It turns into hesitant prods at practice dummies with wooden swords, a lot of staring out the windows, and a frustrating turn at a punching bag.

Fighting is horrible and she's horrible at it and consequently is in a horrible mood.]

Comments

[onlyeffie]

"Your chest is glistening!" she snapped, pushing a sweaty lock of hair out of her eyes as she went in for another round of bitch-slap the Everlast.

[originaljackass]

"It does that sometime," he said even as he began to guess what it was she was doing. "You're thwacking it, babe. You're not trying to whip him, you're trying to kill him."

[trinkett]

"I give up." She kicked uselessly at the bag. "I can't do this."

Jack Horner might have been the only Lucetian she would ever admit that to.

[originaljackass]

This was one of those moments where Jack knew, that of course, Effie was right. But it was a better opportunity for the classic sexy demonstration. Which meant coming up behind Effie so he could guide her arms.

"It's not about power, Effie. It's all about technique. Like this." So long as she let him, he proceeded to guide her hands for a much more elegant blow.

[ruthlessismore]

"I'm sweaty..." came the half-hearted objection. This was very sexy. "And I don't smell nice."

It was so lovely to have tired arms guided in this way by a beautiful man. Jack Horner was definitely most like the men on the covers of her romance novels.

[originaljackass]

Jack agreed that she didn't smell pleasant, but it was better sweat than liberal amounts of perfume. He does, however, make a show of leaning in to sniff her hair. And then he lies about it.

"I think you smell great." He continue to guide her hands into a series of blows that would kill most men if they were actually made out of flesh and bone and they were using a real weapon. But he was only half paying attention to the lesson. "You're a woman alive."

[trinkett]

"A woman who wouldn't mind a dip in the river."

Effie wasn't paying attention to the lesson at all. Jack Horner. He was beginning to have more of a hold over her than she would ever be comfortable admitting.

"I've been here all day."

[originaljackass]

He kept her cradled in his arms, but it was clear the lesson was long since abandoned.

"Well, you'll be your own in the river. I'm heading to the beach for my dip."

[inyourfavor]

"Can I come along?"

Oh, God -- what even was that. What. Was. That. Like some plaintive little girl wanting to tag along with her dream-crush? Effie hated the sound of her own voice. She still wanted to go, though.

[originaljackass]

It was a good thing they were positioned as such, because it meant she could not see the grin that crossed his face. It was not his usual devious, about to get some smirk that often danced along his lips. No, this was genuine amusement at what seemed very high school of her. Yet. It was a good thing she couldn't see.

He pretended to be indifferent. "If you want to. I guess."

[inyourfavor]

He was probably about to get some anyway.

Ugh. There went her heart, bounding along like a happy spaniel that he'd said yes. Effie leaned back against him, resting.

"Good. I didn't bring a towel or anything..."

[originaljackass]

That was a very unfortunate answer from her, because he really liked having his own towel. Having been a well traveled hitchhiker for centuries, he'd always prized himself on always knowing where his towel was. He remember at one point imparting such advice on some British fellow. Or maybe he made that up, once. He wasn't really sure, but he was protective of his towels, especially this one, because it was a very large and bright beach towel that was blue and green, because he liked both of those colors.

"We'll just have to share, won't we?" It wasn't a question for her, mostly himself. To himself, he answered if I have to. And then he moved his hands from her wrists to hold either shoulder against him. He was absolutely certain that the motion would make his biceps stick out even more, making them twice as impressive as before.

[ruthlessismore]

He's a keeper, Effie.

That would be her mother's word on the matter, that was for certain.

"I can make it worth your while, you know."

[originaljackass]

"Oh, I'm certain you can." He playfully teased her back, but in the back of his mind, he was going to be absolutely sure she made it worth his while. After all, he was being ridiculously generous. More than any person could be expected to be. He figured it was a good thing he'd decided to become a good person or this entire beach date would have been ruined.

It's good to be good.

"Have you taken the teleporter before?"

[inyourfavor]

"No. Not yet. I haven't really..."

been leaving my house much except to sneak over to your place because one guy's trying to poison me while other people threatened to hunt me down and then there's the dude who went ape on me with a sword in here earlier because I mentioned the words "children" and "expendable" in the same sentence and looking back that was probably not a good choice but it just seemed a natural conclusion at the time please Jack carry me away from all this on the back of your snow-white steed.

"...Haven't really had a chance to, yet. Busy, you know."

Lies.

[originaljackass]

If Jack was a telepath and he could have heard her mental plight, he would have answered, I should totally get a snow-white steed. I would look so cool on it.

But he was not, so such a thought did not occur to him, save for a strange and brief longing to own a quadruped that wasn't completely useless like Babe. But it was only a momentary distraction before he decided that Effie's excuse about being busy seemed suspect, but not something he felt entirely inclined to question or care much about. There was probably a story behind it that would ruin the beach trip thing even more than having to share a towel.

"Well then, follow me. Prepare to be dazzled. Assuming they don't have teleporters where you are. If they do, prepare to be underwhelmed."

He turned her around so he could take her by the hand and lead her that large suspicious metal box that occupied far too much room in the barracks.

[trinkett]

She held his hand tightly. The teleporter could be their steed.

"We don't. I generally travel by train, where I'm from."

What a safe, comfortable conversation with the only man -- the only ONE -- to whom she truly mattered, here. To whom she wasn't some problem to be fixed.

[originaljackass]

If Jack noticed one thing lately, it was she seemed to be needier later. He definitely needed to fix that.

"Trains are for slow people. Though I did once travel on an intradimensional train. Here, step inside."

He had opened the teleporter door with a single hand, which would be impressive if she had realized it usually took two to do so. He was ready to lead her by the hand into a dark metal chamber that in ordinary circumstances would seem incredibly suspicious.

[ruthlessismore]

How could she be suspicious of him? He wasn't trying to poison her food.

"We CAN be a little old-fashioned in Panem on long-distance journeys!" she laughed in return, standing as close as possible to him in the metal space. It was a little dank in here, considering the humid Luceti weather.

"I'd much rather travel a shorter distance.....with you."

[originaljackass]

"Go the distance?" Jack had a noted look of panic on his face that was hidden as he closed the teleporter doors on them. He had managed to recover and mollify this panic by the time they opened again, because he realized that's not what she meant.

Commitment. It was enough to make any warm-blooded man shudder.

"Speaking of. Here we are."

They were inside a fort along the beach and while it wasn't anything special to look at, the air was much different inside with a distinct cool saltiness to it. Waves could be heard in the distance.

[happyhungergames]

"Oh!" It was such a relief to be out of the sawdusty Barracks.

Well...this was still kind of dank and wet-stone-smelling, but beyond, she could tell, were good things.

Effie laughed. She was finally beginning to relax. "What would I do without you?"

[originaljackass]

"I suspect you'd be very bored and covered in far too much makeup."

Jack felt comfortable making light of her ridiculous makeup now that she was no longer in the habit of wearing it around him. He led the two of them outside the fort where the beach awaited them, ocean stretched as far as the eye could see.

[happyhungergames]

It wasn't too much, Jack. It was what she needed to thrive.

"Oh..."

But she couldn't argue with him about how she preferred to look and be. In fact, the sight of this beautiful sea was near enough to convince Effie to dress and look exactly how Jack asked her to.

[originaljackass]

And then even deep in his own selfishness and conceitedness, Jack had a moment of being able to recognize this moment for what it really was. It was awe. A feeling of experiencing something for the first time and being overwhelmed by the moment.

Jack had forgotten entirely what that was like and for a moment, he was jealous of her. He didn't like being jealous and so selfishness took over and he tugged on her hand as he continued forward.

[happyhungergames]

"You're more like him. The man in the book. More like him than Richard Sharpe could ever HOPE to be," she murmured.

Jack Horner: taking her from her sweat and misery and aches and pains and violence into a place of serenity and bliss.