Fourth Dispatch: It's Not What You Think. Voice.

[trinkett]

Dear Fellow Residents of Luceti,

Wouldn't it be entertaining to put on some Games here in Luceti? Not that the Cultural Fair wasn't amusing, or any of the other activities going on here -- but true gladiatorial games. The pitting of one creature against another! Think of the thrill and drama and the release that goes along with that sort of entertainment! And here in Luceti we are ideally suited for a very exciting Games indeed.

Who would you sponsor or volunteer for this entertainment? Or would it all be...

[There is a pause here.]

Pokey-mans? I find human beings MUCH more interesting to watch, personally.

Comments

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"Hey, I like your hands. They're small and adorable. That was a cautionary warning!"

[Private]

[inyourfavor]

Well, combined with the compliments, that was...alright. "Fine. No wolf cubs, then. I shall request a dog from the Malnosso."

It would have to smell good, never poop indoors, and not shed all over her gorgeous wardrobe.

"A big one," she decided. "That likes me."

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"Does that mean you'll be going on a mission, Miss Trinkett?" Jack remembered a time when one could simply ask for things from Bil and receive them. That time had passed and now Jack was doing his duty. He would extend his help in procuring a dog, but he was saving up for a television.

[Private]

[trinkett]

"I've been thinking of a mission for quite a while," she admitted. "It seems like a good way to get a feel for the Organization. Plus, I want to start saving some points."

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"Good thinking. What sort do you think you'd do?"

[Private]

[trinkett]

"Not combat, of course. Something organizational, maybe. Administrative."

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"... I don't think they have anything administrative, babe."

[Private]

[trinkett]

"Or something....research. Ish."

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"Just don't get so wrapped up in it that you forgot about poor old Jack back in Luceti."

Said the man who just left his poor old Effie alone in Luceti for a week.

[Private]

[inyourfavor]

"Says he who deprived me of his company for a week!"

And really, these days? Jack's company was the most comfortable she had in this place. How sad.

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"For a good cause, babe! I'm halfway to getting a television!"

[Private]

[trinkett]

"You can be SO---!"

What was that word she was thinking of again?

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"... incredible? Amazing? Heroic? Badass? Achingly handsome?"

[Private] OMG THAT ICON

[trinkett]

"CONFOUNDATIONAL."

It wasn't even a word. It was a word Effie had to specially make up for Jack Horner's ability to be achingly infuriatingly amazingly incredibly sexily jerkwadish.

[Private] it is my favorite

[originaljackass]

"Con-foundational? Does that mean more than foundational?"

[Private] it reminds me of you for some reason

[trinkett]

"It means I think you owe me a delicious steak dinner."

[Private] it would, if I ever smiled...

[originaljackass]

"Hm. I'd consent to that. And then you can have me as dessert."

[Private] : |

[trinkett]

"Is that the sound of a man with very high expectations?"

Of course she'd have him as dessert. Probably covered with whipped cream, no less.

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"Effie, you've never once heard me with low expectations."

[Private]

[inyourfavor]

"Jack, I've a question...


Why do you like me?"

[Private]

[originaljackass]

Oh. One of those questions. Jack had heard this asked a million times before from simple dirty peasant girls, to high born noblewomen, to actual goddesses. Every so often, he'd be stupid enough to answer honestly. Mercifully, Jack was clever enough not to make this one of those times.

"Because underneath that pomp and makeup, you're quite the woman. You've got smarts and beauty all rolled up in one. You don't get on my case for not being some saintly hero like half the jerks in this place do. You say what you mean and do what you want, no matter what the rest of those assholes think."

And to Jack's surprise, his web of lies to make her feel appreciated ended up with nuggets of actual sincerity in there. They were sprinkled with praise, but it largely was exactly how he felt about her. But it was still a lie, of course. He liked her because she was having sex with him and in his mind, that was enough.

[Private]

[inyourfavor]

That warmed her. Charmed her. After all the hatred she'd rather naively incited today, Effie had been feeling completely unwanted. Unnecessary. Superfluous. Nearly -- nearly -- without purpose.

And now here was confirmation that she, as a person, meant something to someone else. She smiled.

"Thank you, Jack. I think you've got many qualities yourself."

[Private]

[originaljackass]

"Feel free to elaborate on them."

Though relieved that he managed to survive that question without issue, he was not above indulging himself in flattery. He loved hearing how awesome he was. It was one of the things he missed about Hollywood. Everyone was willing to kiss his ass when he was around.

[Private]

[inyourfavor]

She thought for a moment. "You've been very good to me, even when we first met -- even when I was a stranger to you. You're very handsome, even when you let the beard-stubble get a bit out of control." Or maybe BECAUSE of that -- she still hadn't figured that one out.

"And you're honest. I can trust you."

Hell, she missed him like crazy when he was gone precisely because he was the only person she felt she COULD trust.

[Private]

[originaljackass]

If Jack was any sort of decent, he'd inform her that trusting him was the absolute worst thing anyone could possibly do (second only to sharing a bed with him).

"You'll always be able to trust me."