Fifth Dispatch. Practice Makes Perfect, And Perfect is Me. Action.

[trinkett]

[It's a hot afternoon, and Effie Trinket has sneaked into the Barracks -- first checking to make sure no one else is in there.

No one is.

It's far too hot and dusty and anyone in her right mind would choose the techy comforts of the Battle Dome over this place.

This is a good thing. Effie doesn't WANT to meet anyone today. For one thing, she feels very awkwardly dressed: running shorts and a bright yellow T-shirt (yellow is a Power Color); white athletic socks with that 1970s-era striping at the top; sneakers. No heels, no shoulder pads, no wig, no makeup.

She is here -- VERY GRUDGINGLY, MIND -- to train for warfare. Her last announcement to the village brought on plenty of warnings, and even a subtle death threat or two, and at least a few people giving well-meaning advice. She can hardly believe any of the doubters who'd said the Malnosso would sacrifice her in a battle, but better safe than sorry. One never knows when the higher-ups might make a clerical error or shifting error and accidentally send a valued subject into dire straits.

The second reason she doesn't particularly want to meet anyone is because she knows none of the Luceti peons like her very much. That's fine with Effie. Eventually the Malnosso will take her into the inner workings of the organization and place her right where she belongs. Until then? Well. She can and has been staying indoors a great deal, being a bored journal stalker.

Unfortunately, this lonesome round in the Barracks confirms that Ms. Trinket is not cut out for warfare at all. It turns into hesitant prods at practice dummies with wooden swords, a lot of staring out the windows, and a frustrating turn at a punching bag.

Fighting is horrible and she's horrible at it and consequently is in a horrible mood.]

Comments

[accepted]

[Uh, well. That was certainly something. That last swing was a lot better than the feeble poking he saw before, but still. He raises a hand and waves to see if he can catch her attention before speaking up.]

Hey, you're not going to do much like that! Attack it again like you did just now but put all of your strength and weight into it.

[onlyeffie]

[Are you saying she's fat?

Effie glares at him, hating taking any kind of advice on this. She'd had to swallow ENOUGH of her pride without it getting turned into some kind of spectator sport.

With a mighty thwack she swung at another dummy. It rocked, but didn't fall.]

Thank you for your advice.

{She sounds not at all grateful, sadly.]

[accepted]

[Yes.

-He blinks at her response before glaring back.]

I'm only trying to help. I thought you were trying to knock them over.

[And not make them rock back and forth. Or tickle them with a strike like that, but maybe tickling the dummy would have better success in making it fall over than another of Effie's swings.]

[ruthlessismore]

Why would I want to knock them over? Then I'd just have to pick them all up again.

[She kicks at the fallen one. Maybe she won't even clean up afterward. This place is so filthy anyway.]

[accepted]

Yeah, but that's how you practice here. It's not like the dome you know, you have to set them back up once you deal with them.

[But if she's not trying to knock them over then what is that swing she's using.]

I can show you how it's done if you want.

[onlyeffie]

It's REALLY not that important. [it is so important. she sounds so offhanded about it, but it is so, so important.]

I'm just killing time. This place is SO boring.

[accepted]

[What.]

If it's not important and you think it's boring then why are you here?

[Seriously. There must be something else she could be doing if she's just here to waste time.]

[onlyeffie]

[Oh, THIS is a favorite topic of hers! And an OPENING! Splendid!]

The Malnosso. You see, I've heard that sometimes they mistakenly send otherwise-qualified people into battle....

[accepted]

Yeah, they do. It's not a mistake though, they always end up sending people who can't fight off on drafts.

[From the number of people he's protected and been told to protect in the past he knows this all too well.]

So wait, you're here because you want to learn how to fight in case you get drafted. Is that it? [... That's pretty important.]

[onlyeffie]

[She shakes a dismissive hand at him before wiping some sweat off her forehead.

Ugh. Sweat. Cinna would just DIE.]

No, nononono -- I'm not WORRIED about that! I think it highly unlikely that I would be drafted. They value my other skills too much for that. This is just to familiarize myself. That's all.

[accepted]

[Somehow, he doubts the Malnosso care.]

I don't know what your other skills are, but I think you've got the same chance of being drafted as anybody else here. [...] And if you're just trying to get used to using a sword then you need to put more effort in than that.

[onlyeffie]

[This frustrates her slightly, because she HAS been trying. Pretty hard. Well...not hard enough to damage that manicure, but hard. Ish.]

I'm just a beginner! This is my first time. What, does everyone around here demand instant perfection at fighting?!

[Okay, she's had some...bad and weird experiences here with fighters. It puts her on edge.]

[accepted]

No way! Everyone has to start somewhere. But you just don't care!

[Considering she doesn't consider this practice session important and she thinks it's unlikely she'll be drafted in the first place, yeah, that's the impression he's getting.]

It might be your first time, but unless you really put your whole self into what you're doing then you won't get anywhere. You could end up fighting one of those cultists and you won't be able to handle it.

[inyourfavor]

[She's not going to be able to handle it no matter how much she practices. She's just not a fighter.]

They're NOT going to send me.

[And with that, Effie takes a more meaningful swing at the dummy.]

[accepted]

[He sighs heavily through his nose, finding it hard not to become annoyed.]

They might do! You're not going to get any special treatment, if they send kids off then they could just as well send you too!

[Valuable skills or otherwise. It might be harsh, but with the number of drafts he's been on he knows that's just how it is.]

[onlyeffie]

[Be annoyed, Caius. She's used to her views on almost everything causing that feeling in others.]

But they won't.

[She aims another blow at the dummy's neck.]

Children are more expendable.

[accepted]

[Oh, he'll be annoyed all right.]

What!? Did you hear what I said? [He's going to assume 'no' because she did not just say that.] There's no way you can be serious!

[onlyeffie]

I'm serious! I'm ALWAYS serious!

[She tosses the sword to the floor.]

[accepted]

If you're always serious then that must mean you're seriously an idiot too!

[About being annoyed? Yeah, he's more than that now. Angry, even. He takes a few steps towards Effie, eying the sword on the ground as he does so.]

[onlyeffie]

[Great. Another one. Effie backs away, trying to remember where the exits are.]

I am no such thing! I am a highly sensible person!

[Really, it made sense to see children as expendable. Surely the Malnosso didn't have much use for them in the enclosure. Effie had even heard that any children born here ended up turning into Cultists. Ugh.]

[accepted]

Could've fooled me!

[Once Caius is close enough he picks the practice sword up from the ground and prepares to attack. In the next moment he takes a stride forward and swings the weapon down, striking the nearby practice dummy with enough force to send it crashing to the floor.]

If you were sensible in any way then you wouldn't go around saying children are expendable, like something you could just throw away.

[No one should be seen as expendable on a draft or at any other time. Not children, or people he knows, or even Effie.]

[happyhungergames]

RICHARD.

[It's the first name that springs to mind when she automatically calls for help. But Richard Sharpe isn't here.

Stumbling back, Effie gropes for a weapon of her own. Luckily there is a heavy spear hanging on the wall behind her. She grabs hold of it.]

[accepted]

[Blink. Richard? ... It was never his intention to attack Effie or do anything like that, if anything him striking the dummy was just a way to help calm himself down. And maybe show her how it's done, too. Still, perhaps he went too far.

With a sigh, Caius leaves the sword on the ground again while he goes to lift the dummy back up.]

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. [...] But you can't say things like that, that children or anyone else is expendable.

[It honestly hits a little close to home and reminds him of Rommy in a way, seeing the Leymon as stepping stones that could die for all she cared.]

[inyourfavor]

[Effie's heart is still hammering away. Her mouth is dry and her forehead wet with fear-sweat. Everyone here was so hateful and violent.]

You're right, you're right. I won't say it anymore. I promise not to say it ever again.

[accepted]

Well, that's good.

[Phew, another sigh. Its been a long time since he last got that worked up over something. With the dummy back in its place, he looks over and notices Effie still near the wall, holding onto a spear.]

Are you going to try a different weapon now or something?