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Fifth Dispatch. Practice Makes Perfect, And Perfect is Me. Action.
[It's a hot afternoon, and Effie Trinket has sneaked into the Barracks -- first checking to make sure no one else is in there.
No one is.
It's far too hot and dusty and anyone in her right mind would choose the techy comforts of the Battle Dome over this place.
This is a good thing. Effie doesn't WANT to meet anyone today. For one thing, she feels very awkwardly dressed: running shorts and a bright yellow T-shirt (yellow is a Power Color); white athletic socks with that 1970s-era striping at the top; sneakers. No heels, no shoulder pads, no wig, no makeup.
She is here -- VERY GRUDGINGLY, MIND -- to train for warfare. Her last announcement to the village brought on plenty of warnings, and even a subtle death threat or two, and at least a few people giving well-meaning advice. She can hardly believe any of the doubters who'd said the Malnosso would sacrifice her in a battle, but better safe than sorry. One never knows when the higher-ups might make a clerical error or shifting error and accidentally send a valued subject into dire straits.
The second reason she doesn't particularly want to meet anyone is because she knows none of the Luceti peons like her very much. That's fine with Effie. Eventually the Malnosso will take her into the inner workings of the organization and place her right where she belongs. Until then? Well. She can and has been staying indoors a great deal, being a bored journal stalker.
Unfortunately, this lonesome round in the Barracks confirms that Ms. Trinket is not cut out for warfare at all. It turns into hesitant prods at practice dummies with wooden swords, a lot of staring out the windows, and a frustrating turn at a punching bag.
Fighting is horrible and she's horrible at it and consequently is in a horrible mood.]
No one is.
It's far too hot and dusty and anyone in her right mind would choose the techy comforts of the Battle Dome over this place.
This is a good thing. Effie doesn't WANT to meet anyone today. For one thing, she feels very awkwardly dressed: running shorts and a bright yellow T-shirt (yellow is a Power Color); white athletic socks with that 1970s-era striping at the top; sneakers. No heels, no shoulder pads, no wig, no makeup.
She is here -- VERY GRUDGINGLY, MIND -- to train for warfare. Her last announcement to the village brought on plenty of warnings, and even a subtle death threat or two, and at least a few people giving well-meaning advice. She can hardly believe any of the doubters who'd said the Malnosso would sacrifice her in a battle, but better safe than sorry. One never knows when the higher-ups might make a clerical error or shifting error and accidentally send a valued subject into dire straits.
The second reason she doesn't particularly want to meet anyone is because she knows none of the Luceti peons like her very much. That's fine with Effie. Eventually the Malnosso will take her into the inner workings of the organization and place her right where she belongs. Until then? Well. She can and has been staying indoors a great deal, being a bored journal stalker.
Unfortunately, this lonesome round in the Barracks confirms that Ms. Trinket is not cut out for warfare at all. It turns into hesitant prods at practice dummies with wooden swords, a lot of staring out the windows, and a frustrating turn at a punching bag.
Fighting is horrible and she's horrible at it and consequently is in a horrible mood.]
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IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE RICHARD.
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[ at the home. or on the job. or when the constables catch you. ]
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[ yes. sharpe is the kind of man what knees another man in the junk. gladly. it might be his most favourite technique. ]
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[It just seems like so intimate and personal way of fighting. Not like smacking a dummy or whacking something with a wooden sword.]
Okay okay. I will knee him in the goolies.
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[ and -- with any luck -- she'd meet him on the way. ]
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Effie turns toward Caius. Stands up straight and tall in her now-very-sweaty workout gear. Wishes she had her wig on -- it always helps her to feel taller.]
EXCUSE ME. You. You, hanging the posters! Show me your goolies at once!
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[What the heck are goolies. Does he even have any goolies. This is just plain confusing.
Since he has no idea what he's meant to be doing, Caius just shrugs at the demand and gives Effie a funny look. No, really, what on earth is she going on about.]
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Ow. Ow? Ow. Well at least he knows what goolies are now and that he definitely has some.
If Effie doesn't mind, he'll just be crumpling up into a ball on the floor with his hands between his legs until this almost nauseating pain lets up. Congratulations Effie, you immobilized a teenager with a nut shot.]
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