Second Dispatch. Finally I Have Triumphed Over This Domestic Catastrophe. Action.

[trinkett]

[Effie Trinket has been sorely disappointed in Katniss Everdeen ever since arriving in Luceti. The girl seemed to have dropped all notions of propriety and her renewed place in the world as the Girl on Fire. No, here she seemed content to be muddy and sit on the laps of scruffy men and kiss

NO, that hadn't been a kiss. NOT a proper kiss! That had been a slobbery thing! Slobbery and licky! A slobbery slurpy licky thing!

KISS IN A RESTAURANT OF ALL PLACES. And live with that Sharpe person in what Effie could only describe as a cross between the District One Career Tribute Boys' Locker Room, a weapons closet, and a barn. The only thing she remotely liked about the place once she finally broke into it was the eagle. It would make a perfect wig stand.

With Katniss and Sharpe gone, Effie could take her time redecorating their house. The Welcome Center wasn't welcome in her life anymore. The only sense of purpose she could gravitate toward at the moment was Katniss. They could just deal with that when they got home from the battle. They would live like HUMAN BEINGS. Of course, she would have to prevent Katniss ever finding anything out about Jack Horner, but domestic bliss surely rested down this chosen path.

Feel free to run into her picking out properly upholstered furniture at the items shop, or other homegoods-type stuff. A lot of it will be in shocking colors. Most of it will look uncomfortable and gaudy.]

Comments

YES SHE IS ALL CAPITOL COUTURED-UP! IT'S ALL GOOD

[trinkett]

[She is probably dressed like the chair of some old lady who died in that castle.]

Hello! [She returns his smile formally.]

I assure you, we don't use human-shaped chairs in the Capitol! But I do find it suits me greatly, nevertheless! It will look perfect in the house.

Dashing!

[relictusdeus]

[Canting his head, he asks with all possible sweetness:] And, pray tell, where might that be? [His eyes widen in a show of feigned curiosity and astonishment.] ...Has a brothel been erected in the village?

SO DASHING

[happyhungergames]

"In Panem and........what?" That brought Effie up short. She stared at him. "A brothel?"

And warning again for that devilish tongue. :I

[relictusdeus]

[Unfazed by the look, he cants his head.] Would you prefer I used the words, a 'den of whores'?

[He could think of many succubi who would have certainly shared her taste for the gaudy and garish. Quite a few took up residence in towns and had a fine time duping and siphoning the energy from poor, lusty fools. No shortage of those.]

[trinkett]

NO I would not prefer that! Of all the things. There's no respect amongst this population.

[relictusdeus]

[He giggles lowly.]

Should there be any hope of you attaining the slightest hint of respect, it may benefit you to remove that dead creature from your head first.

[trinkett]

THAT is my wig.

[Y'know -- just in case there was ACTUALLY any question about that.]

[relictusdeus]

[His eyebrows lift and he tilts his head, as it this comes as a bit of a surprise.]

...Has all your hair dropped from your head? Or is there something else you are hiding? Pustulent growths, perhaps? [He suggests amusedly.]

[trinkett]

THAT is something you will have to keep wondering about. [She answers coldly, shouldering past him.] I have to explain myself to no one.

[She has only revealed her natural blond hair to one person in Luceti, and it's not the best of memories at this point.]

welp, he has a reputation to maintain, being a jerk and all

[relictusdeus]

[The Forgemaster turns on his heel as she brushes past, adopting the gentle, sympathetic look of a friend whether or not she catches his expression.]

Worse, is it? How unfortunate. But, for what it is worth... you would not be the only disease-ridden woman in the world.

[Oh, cruel jokes aside, he's quite aware that men could be absolutely filthy themselves. He once stank of rank goat and suffered more than the occasional bout of sickness before he had been introduced to the unexpected pleasure of bathing regularly, and before he had a Fairy Familiar to help purge his system of illnesses. There were a few things for which he had Lord Dracula to thank.]

XD

[trinkett]

[She turns, glaring at him.] Why do you hate whores so?

[Whores, after all, have their place in the world. Some of them are quite favored in the Capitol. Courtesans.]

TW: crude language, sexual references, strong opinion of character and such

[relictusdeus]

[He steps forward, elegant if not predatorily, regarding her fixedly as if in a challenge.]

Filthy creatures they are, most, spreading their legs to anyone who might flash a pretty little coin.

[There’s a savage, sneering curl of his lips, pale eyes narrowing slightly.]

Those who have not a shred of respect for themselves... those who surrender their flesh to another readily and without a care, deserve none.

[trinkett]

I don't know what whores YOU know, but the ones I know are not like that at all. [That is the prim dismissal, Isaac.]

[relictusdeus]

Oh? And how exactly would you describe them?

[He figures he's in for a laugh and mutely urges her to oblige him.]

[trinkett]

Hm. Well, they're quite a necessary part of society, when you think about it. An outlet for the passions. Some of them even have a fair bit of political pull. [Effie rather envied them, though she knew they worked hard for it.]

[relictusdeus]

No matter how useful... or how clever one may be, a whore is still naught but a whore.

[trinkett]

I'm sorry, but I simply do not understand your disdain, Sir. [So coolly she says this.]

[relictusdeus]

['Sir' evokes a grim, crooked twist to his smile.]

...You wouldn't.

[trinkett]

Did a whore wrong you, somehow? [Asked idly. Really, she simply wanted to get rid of him.]

[relictusdeus]

[The question gives him pause and he slowly steps back, a hand lifting to his heart. Or where it would have been, one might think, had he something more than a rock nestled between his lungs.]

Did I offend...? [His mask of feigned shock and worry melts into a characteristic look of wicked amusement.]

You needn't worry, my dear, for those who sought to wrong me did not live to see another night. But I thank you for your concern all the same.

[trinkett]

You are a killer, then. [She states this primly enough, though Effie is more than a little nervous at this point. Can the journals be used to call for help? Would anyone even help her if she did? Slowly she begins to back away.]

[relictusdeus]

[Watching her closely with the sly intensity of a snake, he contemplates advancing a step.]

I can be many things. [He purrs.]

[trinkett]

[Another step back.]

I'll have you know that killers are dealt with quite strictly in the Capitol. Here too, if I've heard aright.

[relictusdeus]

Perhaps. [He remarks lightly.] But I would have to kill you first. [A low, throaty chuckle escapes him and he throws open his arms, palms up.]

And upon returning to life in a week's time, you would come to realize that your death is utterly meaningless. All death is here, in the end. Of course, this is not to say it would be... unsatisfying.

[He lets his hands fall to his sides.]

But do tell: how are murderers dealt with in the Capitol? Decapitation? Being broken on the wheel? Burned to a fine crisp, perhaps?

[trinkett]

[She is NOT answering this question because Effie is going to SCREAM FOR HELP.]

HELP! MURDERER! THERE IS A MURDERER HERE! HELP HELP!