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THE OMNIVORATOR: FIRST INSTALLMENT.
[The following is anonymously posted to the journal system. Effie is feeling crappy and bored with her mostly-indoor life. Time to gossip.]
THE OMNIVORATOR
♥ This week, we look at what's HOT and what's NOT in our beloved Compound!♥
HOT!
Does anyone look finer than our very own Trafalgar Law? Not only is he a DOCTOR, but he's also a captain. ♥ ♥ ♥! He is the surgeon of chic, as all can see, rocking a pimped-out hat with the power of a prince. You have ALL of Ms. Fosdick's attention, Law! Many peppermint kisses are flying your way! Mwah!
Can anyone argue with the addition of Tony Stark to this column? I think not! His dazzling wedding to blushing bride Pepper Potts, herself shining in a simple bridal couture gown, was the event of the season. Bravo, Stark-Pottses! Ms. Fosdick wishes you all success!
Where would Luceti be without YOU, Masaomi Kida?! Far less stylish, Ms. Fosdick believes! Our Masaomi positively reeks style, which is contained only by his very rich substance. He's a catch, girls! Make no mistake!
Karla is a glittering example of how IMPROVED someone can become if they simply take the advice of someone with their best fashion interests at heart! We call her look "nouveau despereaux." She is seeking. Always seeking. Her wardrobe reflects the drama of the ever-wandering heart. Bravo!
Bulla Brief is simply charming. We're certain that her preferred haircolor will be ALL THE RAGE this fall season! Considering off-the-shoulder peasant blouses? Look to Miss Brief for your inspiration, ladies! She is a guiding star for us all!
Speaking of wedding styles -- and oh, we do love to speak of them! -- Miss Clove of District 2 made an elegant, genteel splash with her own nuptials. A nontraditional bride in many ways, Clove and her groom Cato did not disappoint as they tied the knot under October skies! Love: Forever Young.
His wardrobe hearkens to Distressed Military, but one of our New Arrivals has Miss Fosdick patting the corners of her mouth with a silk handkerchief! She wants to slice her fingertips open on his cheekbones, she does! ♥
Miss Suki might be our ideal Gracious Lady of the season! Someone, quickly -- crown her Autumn Queen! I would incline my head toward her princessly bearing and her impeccable autumnal palette!
Miss Fosdick isn't sure who this is, but he is living, breathing, walking proof that Dapper is not Dead in the compound!
Jack Horner. ♥ The dreamboat with just the right amount of stubble. How does he do it?!?! Miss Fosdick knows his secret! ;)
NOT! :(
Someone needs to tell THIS gentleman that even the trees aren't quite THAT tall and green! Regular bathing and a personal shopper would go far in enhancing this military man's natural good looks. Or, perhaps, a SPADE -- to dig them out from beneath all that scruff.
CORPSE PALE is so OUT this season! Try to flavor your look with sunlight!
Miss Fosdick isn't certain what is going on with this one. We can only mildly suggest that he stay away from hair gel and electrical sockets!
We aren't against Mr. Silverberg's look; we merely feel that he would catch more flies with honey than with moody detachment. Can you imagine pulling this one onto the dance floor, ladies?
Someone, please -- Ms. Fosdick has been concerned about the poor little bald arrow boy for quite some time, now. We will be accepting wigs, hats, and other headcoverings in a special donation box marked "arrow boy", which will be left right by the fountain. Please -- share. And Care.
This young man is possibly the dregs of what Luceti has to offer. Scruffy! Boorish! Rude! No inner beauty is shining through here, because there IS none. He also has a distinct stench of raw meat about him. Ms. Fosdick can barely type these words, gentle readers -- that is how offensive he is to Fashion.
Why is THIS one in the "not" pile, you may wonder? Because her beauty could be much improved by two key elements: SMILING -- yes, a little smile here and there will do wonders! Don't be a Mopey Mary! And, finally, POSTURE. Don't forget that a little good posture can go a long way!
Not good enough! A try-er, of course! But something about her seems like it will never reach its potential. Keep trying, dear. Take the frog off your shoulder. And wipe that flour from your nose!
Finally -- a panda. His moddish black and white coloring aside, Pandas simply do not belong in the world of high fashion unless a tastefully nude Glitzerista is riding one. Ms. Fosdick must vote "no." :(
Tune in next time, Luceti, for more fashion advice, commentary, and general fabulosity! Kisses!
--FF ♥
[Action: reserved for Isaac in Effie and Jack's bedroom, sometime when Jack Horner is not there....]
((((ETA: THREADHOPPING IS TOTALLY COOL WITH ME. HAVE AT. GO NUTS IN THIS STRANGE SOCIAL ARENA EFFIE HAS CREATED.)))
THE OMNIVORATOR
With an Eye to Digesting Luceti Fashion and Fashionistas!
♥ This week, we look at what's HOT and what's NOT in our beloved Compound!♥
HOT!
Does anyone look finer than our very own Trafalgar Law? Not only is he a DOCTOR, but he's also a captain. ♥ ♥ ♥! He is the surgeon of chic, as all can see, rocking a pimped-out hat with the power of a prince. You have ALL of Ms. Fosdick's attention, Law! Many peppermint kisses are flying your way! Mwah!
Can anyone argue with the addition of Tony Stark to this column? I think not! His dazzling wedding to blushing bride Pepper Potts, herself shining in a simple bridal couture gown, was the event of the season. Bravo, Stark-Pottses! Ms. Fosdick wishes you all success!
Where would Luceti be without YOU, Masaomi Kida?! Far less stylish, Ms. Fosdick believes! Our Masaomi positively reeks style, which is contained only by his very rich substance. He's a catch, girls! Make no mistake!
Karla is a glittering example of how IMPROVED someone can become if they simply take the advice of someone with their best fashion interests at heart! We call her look "nouveau despereaux." She is seeking. Always seeking. Her wardrobe reflects the drama of the ever-wandering heart. Bravo!
Bulla Brief is simply charming. We're certain that her preferred haircolor will be ALL THE RAGE this fall season! Considering off-the-shoulder peasant blouses? Look to Miss Brief for your inspiration, ladies! She is a guiding star for us all!
Speaking of wedding styles -- and oh, we do love to speak of them! -- Miss Clove of District 2 made an elegant, genteel splash with her own nuptials. A nontraditional bride in many ways, Clove and her groom Cato did not disappoint as they tied the knot under October skies! Love: Forever Young.
His wardrobe hearkens to Distressed Military, but one of our New Arrivals has Miss Fosdick patting the corners of her mouth with a silk handkerchief! She wants to slice her fingertips open on his cheekbones, she does! ♥
Miss Suki might be our ideal Gracious Lady of the season! Someone, quickly -- crown her Autumn Queen! I would incline my head toward her princessly bearing and her impeccable autumnal palette!
Miss Fosdick isn't sure who this is, but he is living, breathing, walking proof that Dapper is not Dead in the compound!
Jack Horner. ♥ The dreamboat with just the right amount of stubble. How does he do it?!?! Miss Fosdick knows his secret! ;)
NOT! :(
Someone needs to tell THIS gentleman that even the trees aren't quite THAT tall and green! Regular bathing and a personal shopper would go far in enhancing this military man's natural good looks. Or, perhaps, a SPADE -- to dig them out from beneath all that scruff.
CORPSE PALE is so OUT this season! Try to flavor your look with sunlight!
Miss Fosdick isn't certain what is going on with this one. We can only mildly suggest that he stay away from hair gel and electrical sockets!
We aren't against Mr. Silverberg's look; we merely feel that he would catch more flies with honey than with moody detachment. Can you imagine pulling this one onto the dance floor, ladies?
Someone, please -- Ms. Fosdick has been concerned about the poor little bald arrow boy for quite some time, now. We will be accepting wigs, hats, and other headcoverings in a special donation box marked "arrow boy", which will be left right by the fountain. Please -- share. And Care.
This young man is possibly the dregs of what Luceti has to offer. Scruffy! Boorish! Rude! No inner beauty is shining through here, because there IS none. He also has a distinct stench of raw meat about him. Ms. Fosdick can barely type these words, gentle readers -- that is how offensive he is to Fashion.
Why is THIS one in the "not" pile, you may wonder? Because her beauty could be much improved by two key elements: SMILING -- yes, a little smile here and there will do wonders! Don't be a Mopey Mary! And, finally, POSTURE. Don't forget that a little good posture can go a long way!
Not good enough! A try-er, of course! But something about her seems like it will never reach its potential. Keep trying, dear. Take the frog off your shoulder. And wipe that flour from your nose!
Finally -- a panda. His moddish black and white coloring aside, Pandas simply do not belong in the world of high fashion unless a tastefully nude Glitzerista is riding one. Ms. Fosdick must vote "no." :(
Tune in next time, Luceti, for more fashion advice, commentary, and general fabulosity! Kisses!
--FF ♥
[Action: reserved for Isaac in Effie and Jack's bedroom, sometime when Jack Horner is not there....]
((((ETA: THREADHOPPING IS TOTALLY COOL WITH ME. HAVE AT. GO NUTS IN THIS STRANGE SOCIAL ARENA EFFIE HAS CREATED.)))
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[Sam grins.]
Dapper is not undead, more like.
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[Video] [threadhoppin like it ain't no thaaaaaang]
[Jack's pretty delighted - both by Eugene's apparent debut in the fashion papers and Sam's harassment at the hands of this vaguely insane clothes-obsessed woman.]
And I think you should listen to the lady, Sam. Get yourself some half-laced boots, artful smudge of dirt on one cheek . . .
Re: [Video] [threadhoppin like it ain't no thaaaaaang]
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But just in case.]
Okay, I'd love to get in on this. You accepting applications?
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-- Fleurine Fosdick
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You're freaking kidding me, right?
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voice: I think I should just resign to Cross not liking any of your muses, Linds.
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ACTION
Action; sorry for the wait!
sokay!
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[Not Here but I had to omg beautiful]
not know what to think
But if an influx of boys end up swarming his daughter because of this, well, let's just say he will not be a happy father. And there might be some dead teenagers in Luceti in the near future.]
[Also Not here 2: electric boogaloo]
[Suddenly Bulla looks really attractive. He thinks he'll ask her out.][Also Also Not Here] oh my god <3
NOT HERE
NOT HERE AL;SKDFJAKL;SDFJ;
NOT HERE
NOT HERE
NOT HERE
Making this ungodly worse
NOT HERE
NOT HERE
[Also Also Not Here]
[Also Also Also Not Here]
[Also Also Also Not Here]
[Also Also Also Not Here]
[Continually not here into fivever]
[Continually not here into fivever plus one more than you always]
[forever not here]
[forever not here]
[forever not here]
[Continually not here into fivever but into another fivever so I win]
[But it's always plus one more so THERE]
[But still defeated by the other fivever so it turns into a giant loop]
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voice.
[ he's offended dammit. except the stranger did note him as a gentleman. and that made him feel weird. ]
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-- Fleurine Fosdick
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CHOKING
Congratulations. That is the sound of a coffee cup smashing against the tile floor as it slips from nerveless fingers.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!]
:D written reply
I'm sorry -- does fashion startle you into small household accidents? Perhaps The Omnivorator should carry a warning label....
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[And Pepper is going to get a kick out of calling Natasha a Mopey Mary.]
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[Cue blushing.] Thank you though. I'm happy you like my style.
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[action]
So into the deepening darkness after sunset he sets out, and soon there comes a tapping as of someone gently rapping, rapping at the apartment door. Yet what awaits Effie (and her judgment) is a strapping young man, his lips curling into a mild smile with practiced ease.]
[action]
[Effie pulls her robe more closely around her throat and tightens the belt. It COULD be Jack Horner. Maybe. She's always cautious these days, and only opens the door a crack.
The man she sees there is unfamiliar. Unfamiliar, but handsome.]
Oh -- hello. May I help you?
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[Hmmmmmmmmmm...Vastra...that sounds familiar.]
Your wardrobe is quite good, but you pull it all together with a flair that few other men could pull off. Dapper.
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...What is this?
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This is a modest attempt at a fashion magazine, Mister...?
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Um, are you a friend of my sister Bulla?
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I am a friend to ALL in Luceti, dear reader!
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Then she sees the comments on Masaomi and feels strange.
And then she sees the comments about Aang - bald-headed boy. And while Sokka might be a big fat jerk, he was still her brother and no one had the right to say those things about him -- especially if it wasn't her. She might have been able to let some of the comments go in the spirit of community, but the comment about his inner beauty incensed her, especially after what Sokka had been through regarding the loss of his soul and who she knew him to be.
This is one pissed off waterbender.]
Aang's not bald. He shaves his head. It's part of his culture. And if you ask me, this whole post is boorish! Who are you to talk about someone's inner beauty?
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Thank you for your interest in the Omnivorator! We value your input. A future issue will assuredly deal more in-depth on the subject of Inner Beauty.
Rest assured we will do our best to judge everyone's inner beauty fairly!
All the best
FF
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Unfortunately, since there's no currency here, that doesn't really factor in.
xoxo,
Gem
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Just a little. She can't help but let out a giggle before answering.]
Yeah, pandas really are like, totally unfashionable, right? I don't know if anyone could ride one, though...I mean, they're kind of lazy, so the rider wouldn't get anywhere at all. [She's ignoring the "tastefully nude" part. She can't imagine sitting naked on the back of a panda to be too terribly sanitary. Also...]
I don't know about Rapunzel being on that second list, though. I mean, she always looks like, so totally cute n' stuff whenever I see her...
written
Thank you for your interest in the Omnivorator! Ms. Fosdick is happy that you are in agreement about Pandas. They are the perfect accessory, however, for a winter black-and-white gala!
As for Rapunzel, we must sadly say that "cute" never earned a beggar a horse. She will simply have to try harder to impress us.
All the best,
FF
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You are planning to die, gentle reader?
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[written]
Ms.Fosdick, that's just how Goku's hair naturally is. Even the strongest hair products don't work on it. Seriously. And Aang is a monk. Monks shave their heads as part of their religion, I think.
[written]
Thank you for your information about "Goku." His hair, if paired with the proper wardrobe, could start quite a trend here in Luceti!
As for our poor little Aang -- a fuller head of hair might help him attract more savory friends. This is a hope I have for him.
All the best,
FF
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[Video] - 1/2 HOW DID I MISS THIS
Trafalgar Law, Surgeon of Death, worth 200,000,000 beri...one of the eleven supernova that were born of the marines' so-called "worst generation ever"?
That Law?
...]
[Video] - 2/2
Perona snorts, then bursts out laughing - her "horohorohoro" giggle - as she reads and rereads the description of the notorious pirate she knew back home. The very same pirate she had been intimidated by when she first crossed paths with him that one time. Her was a pretty nice guy, yes, but this.
This.
She flops over backwards into the pillows of her bed, head tilted back and tears budding at the corners of her eyes. Oh god, oh god...it hurts, it hurts so much, ow--her stomach hurts from laughing!]
[Video] SOBBU
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[ Voice ]
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You are most welcome. Continue to be fabulous! The Omnivorator looks forward to a long, fruitful relationship with you!
Ms. Fosdick <3
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[Yes. Out of all people Luffy is actually legit starting to get into this whole thing. IT'S IMPORTANT OKAY.]
Damn. How did Suki get on the 'Hot' list though.
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SHOULD you have made the list? Ms. Fosdick isn't certain she's met you before...
Sincerely,
FF
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( Voice )
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Ms. Fosdick must observe that, in Luceti, there is often a lack of propriety. We are trying to improve that situation each and every day!
Though we are also happy to answer any other questions you might have.
Sincerely,
FF
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