Fifth Dispatch. Practice Makes Perfect, And Perfect is Me. Action.

[trinkett]

[It's a hot afternoon, and Effie Trinket has sneaked into the Barracks -- first checking to make sure no one else is in there.

No one is.

It's far too hot and dusty and anyone in her right mind would choose the techy comforts of the Battle Dome over this place.

This is a good thing. Effie doesn't WANT to meet anyone today. For one thing, she feels very awkwardly dressed: running shorts and a bright yellow T-shirt (yellow is a Power Color); white athletic socks with that 1970s-era striping at the top; sneakers. No heels, no shoulder pads, no wig, no makeup.

She is here -- VERY GRUDGINGLY, MIND -- to train for warfare. Her last announcement to the village brought on plenty of warnings, and even a subtle death threat or two, and at least a few people giving well-meaning advice. She can hardly believe any of the doubters who'd said the Malnosso would sacrifice her in a battle, but better safe than sorry. One never knows when the higher-ups might make a clerical error or shifting error and accidentally send a valued subject into dire straits.

The second reason she doesn't particularly want to meet anyone is because she knows none of the Luceti peons like her very much. That's fine with Effie. Eventually the Malnosso will take her into the inner workings of the organization and place her right where she belongs. Until then? Well. She can and has been staying indoors a great deal, being a bored journal stalker.

Unfortunately, this lonesome round in the Barracks confirms that Ms. Trinket is not cut out for warfare at all. It turns into hesitant prods at practice dummies with wooden swords, a lot of staring out the windows, and a frustrating turn at a punching bag.

Fighting is horrible and she's horrible at it and consequently is in a horrible mood.]

Comments

[swordprincess]

I don't know...what kind of talents do you have?

[happyhungergames]

[She's excellent in bed. She is a fantastic public speaker. She can work as a fashion adviser.]

I've won fashion awards back in the Capitol...

[swordprincess]

[Well, she's not into fashion or public speaking. And she definitely doesn't need the talents in bed.]

I honestly don't need anything...just your own safety will be reward enough.

[happyhungergames]

That is so....absurd.

[She CANNOT get her mind around this, Karla.]

[swordprincess]

...Why? If someone killed you, and I didn't protect you, I'd feel bad...

[inyourfavor]

But why?

[swordprincess]

Killing a person who is powerless to resist? That's just awful.

[onlyeffie]

[So it was on principle. Yes. Even Effie Trinket has principles.]

It's the idea of it, then, to you...

[swordprincess]

Indeed.

[Even if Karla hates the principle of fighting, she might as well try to do something positive with it...]

[onlyeffie]

So what I'm giving you, then, is a chance to satisfy your craving for moral behavior.

[swordprincess]

...Or just something to do. I'm stuck here, unable to search for my brother. I just need...something...to do with myself here.

[So she can be your very own Peacekeeper.]

[trinkett]

[Effie's not sure she wants to be anyone's anti-boredom project.]

For now? Alright. I accept your offer.

[swordprincess]

Thank you!

...Now, what do I do?

[Wah wah wah...]

[trinkett]

Why, keep me alive of course! I expect that I'll need you most in public places. The restaurant. The tea shop.

[Not Good Spirits. Effie won't go in there.]

[swordprincess]

[That's good, because Karla doesn't like Good Spirits either.]

That's fine with me. Like an escort of sorts.

[trinkett]

YES. But not...not everywhere.

[There is the torrid affair with Jack Horner. She'd like privacy with that.]

[swordprincess]

All right. Whenever you need me is fine.

[trinkett]

I suppose I'll simply contact you over the journals...?