Fifth Dispatch. Practice Makes Perfect, And Perfect is Me. Action.

[trinkett]

[It's a hot afternoon, and Effie Trinket has sneaked into the Barracks -- first checking to make sure no one else is in there.

No one is.

It's far too hot and dusty and anyone in her right mind would choose the techy comforts of the Battle Dome over this place.

This is a good thing. Effie doesn't WANT to meet anyone today. For one thing, she feels very awkwardly dressed: running shorts and a bright yellow T-shirt (yellow is a Power Color); white athletic socks with that 1970s-era striping at the top; sneakers. No heels, no shoulder pads, no wig, no makeup.

She is here -- VERY GRUDGINGLY, MIND -- to train for warfare. Her last announcement to the village brought on plenty of warnings, and even a subtle death threat or two, and at least a few people giving well-meaning advice. She can hardly believe any of the doubters who'd said the Malnosso would sacrifice her in a battle, but better safe than sorry. One never knows when the higher-ups might make a clerical error or shifting error and accidentally send a valued subject into dire straits.

The second reason she doesn't particularly want to meet anyone is because she knows none of the Luceti peons like her very much. That's fine with Effie. Eventually the Malnosso will take her into the inner workings of the organization and place her right where she belongs. Until then? Well. She can and has been staying indoors a great deal, being a bored journal stalker.

Unfortunately, this lonesome round in the Barracks confirms that Ms. Trinket is not cut out for warfare at all. It turns into hesitant prods at practice dummies with wooden swords, a lot of staring out the windows, and a frustrating turn at a punching bag.

Fighting is horrible and she's horrible at it and consequently is in a horrible mood.]

Comments

[swordprincess]

[Now that Karla has chosen her spare blade from the weapons shop, it was time to test it out. The barracks seemed like a good place to do that, a quiet, empty place to just swing the sword and get used to the blade before taking it into a real battle.]

[When she arrives at the barracks, she finds the woman prodding pathetically at the dummy.]

...Need some help?

[onlyeffie]

Hello!

[Effie's pooped. She wipes sweat from her forehead and reties her ponytail. Now is as good a time as any for a break.]

I'm just....trying things.

[swordprincess]

I see.

[She steps a little farther into the area.]

How is it working out for you?

[onlyeffie]

Oh, fine, fine!

[That is a total lie. Effie tries to very casually swing the heavy wooden practice blade over one shoulder, like casual swordswomen do.]

I was almost ready to stop and eat a prepackaged granola bar. Would YOU like a prepackaged granola bar?

[swordprincess]

A what? What is a...prepackaged granola bar?

[onlyeffie]

Here, let me find them! They're quite delicious! And very difficult to poison!

[She bends down to rummage through a plain black duffle bag that is lying nearby.]

I like the cherry ones.

[swordprincess]

Poison? Who would poison them?

[Now she's not sure if she wants to eat anything anymore...]

[happyhungergames]

Oh, you know. People. There are many unsavory types in this place.

[She pulled free a cherry-dark chocolate granola bar.]

I have these, and I also have a few peanut butter ones. Which are also good...

[swordprincess]

Really? Are there any I should be familiar with?

[She reaches out, waiting for a granola bar.]

I suppose I could take one...

[inyourfavor]

You should DEFINITELY be familiar with cherry-dark chocolate!

[Effie confides this cheerily as she hands it to Karla.]

I'll take peanut butter this time. I need the protein.

[swordprincess]

[She frowns at the response as she takes the bar.]

...I meant the unsavory people you mentioned. Who exactly is "unsavory"?

[Carefully, she tears the little package open.]

[inyourfavor]

Oh, PLENTY of people. [Effie takes a peanut butter one and does the same.] Don't you find everyone here unfriendly and dangerous?

[swordprincess]

No...

[The confusion is clear in her voice.]

Most people have been really nice. I've met some strange people here, but I wouldn't say they're unfriendly or dangerous...

[inyourfavor]

Really? Because almost everyone I've met has been...scary. Or TRIED to be. Or vulgar. There are a few good ones, I suppose. Jack Horner. And that Masaomi is quite a hoot.

[If only she were like 15 years younger...]

[swordprincess]

Was this when you announced those games? A lot of people seemed angry about that.

[Karla herself hadn't been angry, but she didn't care for the suggestion either.]

Some people can be scary and vulgar when they're angry.

[inyourfavor]

[Yes, that would be the nail you hit right on the head, Karla.]

People were like that before I did that. Since I got here.

[It couldn't be HER, of course. It had to be the others at fault.]

They simply don't like me. They don't like my hair, or my clothes, or my makeup, or anything about me.

[swordprincess]

Really? Why?

[Karla can't say she likes Effie either, but she doesn't dislike her. She's too detached for that stuff.]

Would people actually hurt you?

[inyourfavor]

They've tried.

[Now some pride creeps into her voice.]

But I'm not THAT easy to hurt!

[swordprincess]

Oh, so you can fight?

[Taking her seriously for the moment, until she actually gets to see Effie's "prowess."]

[inyourfavor]

[That hadn't been what she meant at all. Effie huffs.]

What I meant was, I can survive. I know how to keep my food and water safe. I know whom to avoid.

[swordprincess]

...Oh.

[Deeerrrrp.]

Whom would you avoid? Would they actually poison the food and water?

[inyourfavor]

[She's not comfortable dropping his name. She doesn't know what the retribution for that would be.]

I think so. Yes, I think he would.

[swordprincess]

But...but who?

[She wants to know, because what if he tries to poison her, too? She has enough health issues as it is, and she doesn't need to add poisoning to it.]

[onlyeffie]

Luceti's too small a place. Don't worry -- his grudge seems to be only against me.

[She says this in frosty tones.]

[swordprincess]

Well, all right.

[The assurance seems enough for her, for now.]

[And finally, she'll take a bite from her granola bar. She frowns as she tests the taste, and then eventually, she smiles.]

Mmm...not bad.